This is what I wrote on Facebook (where I update a trillion more times than on my blog):

Dear MJ,

I practiced your dance moves when I was a chubby kid. In college, I always danced to “Don’t Stop Til You Get Enough,” when it blared on the Johnny Rockets jukebox. Post-college, I got down to any MJ song @ the bar, in hopes that a cute guy would dance with me. Now? I always listen to Thriller when I’m writing stories, in the late hours of the night. You have always impacted me. You will be severely missed.

XO,

AT

With the exception of my last ex-boyfriend (he’s a big pussy and super boring) I am friend or on decent terms with all my exes, dudes I used to make out, etc. I love it — they’re awesome dudes (for the most part)! Today I had a silly IM convo with E, a dude I had the biggest crush on in college.

E: explain women to me
LexCoup1: what happened?
E: nothing really
E: just pondering your species
LexCoup1: Well you’re a bit weird so
E: WTF
LexCoup1: I’m sure girls try to figure u out too.
E: I am a blank slate
E: nothing to figure out
LexCoup1: I would know! I have first-hand experience with you!
E: oh please
LexCoup1: You are a bit hard to figure out.
LexCoup1: hahaha
E: that was like a decade ago
LexCoup1: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
E: that doesn’t even count anymore
LexCoup1: EW.
E: your experience has EXPIRED
LexCoup1: So you never had sex with me?
LexCoup1: Thanks
E: nope
E: we’ll just have to do it again
LexCoup1: Oh GOD!

I’ve been blogging on this bitch for over 4 years now. I’m gonna try to blog on tumblr now since it’s a quick and efficient way to post. Let’s see how long this experiment lasts. Check it out.

XO,

Lex

The BF and I riding a NYC bus to a holiday party!

I had a cool holiday dinner with my boyfriend and mi familia on Christmas Eve. In case you didn’t know…my family is very un-pc. When I go home we pee with the door open, we fart in front of each other, scream about politics, religion and money and basically just say whatever is on our minds. We def. keep it real. Ha!

So yeah, the boyfriend came over and within minutes of eating dinner, my cousin made a racial slur, we bashed George Bush and Mimosa (our Golden Retriever) almost knocked down Melinda, my 3-year-old niece. The Tirados…we’re totally not boring.

The next day, Christmas I had dinner with my boyfriend’s family. They’re amazing peeps. There was so much good food and proper conversation going on.

At one point, I was talking to the grandmother and she asked me if I saw the news that day.

“Oh my God! Did you see the Santa shooter today? He killed like a bunch of people at a holiday party,” I bellowed.

My boyfriend put his finger to his lips to shush me.

“What? I didn’t hear about that. I was talking about the pope on the news and his service,” replied my BF’s sweet, little grandma.

“Oh,” I mumbled and went back to eating my prime rib.

I don’t think I’ll ever learn to shut my mouth! Can’t help it…it’s me, it’s my family!?!

Random note: For your viewing pleasure: Photos from a hilarious birthday party I recently went to — I saw my first coke dealer, my boyfriend got yelled at by a 300 lb. woman, etc. Good times.

I vividly remember going on dates and hitting up a ton of holiday parties around this time in 2k7. Where did this year go? Time truly flies when you’re having good times with amazing peeps. I seriously am dating the funnest (is that a word?) boyfriend — I have never laughed so much with a man.

How was your Thanksgiving? Did you go home? Last Weds. I noticed a ton of people lugging around suitcases all over NYC. I honestly feel so lucky that I grew up outside of NYC and my parent’s house is only a 30 minute bus ride away. I don’t think I’ll ever leave this city (or the Tri-State area). I have everything here — my fam, my HS, college and post-college friends, all the media jobs are here, etc.

But I digress. My Thanksgiving rocked because I spent 3 nights with my beloved Mimosa, my family’s Golden Retriever.

Check out fotos of MIMOSA!

This is totally random but a perfect to get you in the holiday spirit: vote for your favorite gingerbread house!

There is no one I love more in my life than my sister, RoxannaT. She’s has 5 good friends. I think I have like 500 good friends. She gets annoyed easily by humans. I love people — I’m like a goofy teddybear. She’s deeply religious…and I believe in God but I need to make more of an effort.

But I digress. Last night, my sister and I went to a screening of “Last Chance Harvey” (a cute film) and walked for blocks and blocks and more blocks to find a restaurant. We landed at the cheese-fest known as Ellen’s Stardust Diner! It’s such a motherfucking TOURIST TRAP in the middle of Times Square. I haven’t been to this diner in like 7 years.

It was karaoke night at the diner so RoxannaT and I were stuck listening to washed up waitresses — and waiters sing shitty ass Broadway tunes (“Man of La Mancha” anyone?) They were loud and wouldn’t stop singing! My sister and I couldn’t have a conversation…for even one minute! At one point a waitress urged all the 89-year old women, flamboyant tween boys and my sister and I to put our jazz hands up — it was random and hilarious.

When you’re in stupid situation like this you have to laugh, right? Check out my horrified sister below!

Greetings from my church in Washington Heights, NYC! I finally ditched my clunky BlackBerry for an iPhone and I’m playing around with it right now. I haven’t been freelancing as much as usual because I’m trying to work on some big things for 2009. I hope it all works out! I don’t have recent, fun articles to read from Time Out but you can still check out my sex and dating blog at Latina.com

Things with the boyfriend are awesome — he is so fabulous, fun and fly. The other night we got into an argument and I hissed, “What do we even have in common?” “We both want to be black,” he quipped. HAHHAAHAH! Which is soooo true haha! If you know me, you know I’m obsessed with rap, hip hop and ebonics. The BF rocks so much — I feel so fortunate to have him in my life!

Yesterday I went outlet shopping since I can’t afford regular shopping. @ the Victoria’s Secret outlet store I noticed a “Showgirls” fringed halter top. I had to take a photo and share it with my BF and you, of course!

Today @ church I played with some of the kids. I always ask kids who live in NYC if they wish they had a backyard and they ALWAYS scream “Yes!” If and when I have kids they better have a backyard!

The girl on the right couldn’t eat her Halloween candy ’cause a rat nibbled on it. To make her feel better I reassured her that candy is overrated and showed her my 8 fillings in my teeth. Haha!

Read about my stalkerish ways here.

I also wrote about posing as a pregnant chick for Time Out New York.

I am tired. Overworked. Poor! I want an English Bulldog! I adore my boyfriend even though we’re going to attend the same work meetings starting next week. I am going to dance my ass off to the Black Kids show tomorrow night. I have the best friends and lawyer in the world. Life rocks.

Sorry I barely update this blog. If you like what I write please check out my sex and dating blog.

One Love,

Lex

Find out here.

Also, I wrote a recent Time Out story about my beloved dog, Mimosa! AW! Read it here.

OK, back to writing now,

Lex

OMG! My beloved boyfriend called me fat...well kinda!

I also made a Time Out New York reader’s wish come true. Yay! I love writing feel-good stories.

Hope you’re enjoying the last days of summer! It’s been the busiest summer of my life!!!